Episode 128 - When Understanding Becomes a Hiding Place

Gimmel Tammuz.

I've been at many farbrengens.

Formed many explanations.

Heard lots of words.

 I am feeling there is nothing left to say. I feel frozen.

Maybe it's time to stop explaining.

I've spent  years trying to understand, define, and articulate what Gimmel Tammuz means, that I've sidestepped what it actually means to me.

The  explanations have become a hiding place.

Reuven opens up about a letter from the Rebbe that struck him deeply: emunah (faith) is not meant to remain an idea. It is meant to permeate life itself.

What begins to emerge is the need to explain as  a way of avoiding what I actually feel..

A conversation about Gimmel Tammuz, emunah, hiskashrus, individuality, doubt, commitment, and the uneasy possibility that sometimes the words that bring us closer can also keep us at a safe distance.

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Episode 127 - Detached from Ourselves